Worksheet: Replacing Old Habits with New, Healthy Routines

Copy and paste this into a word document, or write the questions and answers on a sheet of paper.

Step 1: Identify the Habit You Want to Change

Question: What is one habit you'd like to replace with a healthier one?
Write your answer below:

Step 2: Choose a Small Action

Question: What small, simple change can you make to start replacing this habit?
(Example: Drink one glass of water instead of soda per day.)
Write your action plan below:

Step 3: Stack Your New Habit

Question: What is an existing habit you can pair with this new one?
(Example: Stretching after brushing your teeth or journaling while coffee brews.)
Write your plan below:

Step 4: Track Your Progress

Activity: Use the chart below to track your habit for the next 7 days.

• Put a checkmark (✔) for each day you complete your habit.

Day

Did I complete my new habit? (✔ or ✘)

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Step 5: Reflect on Your Progress

Question: How did it feel to focus on this small change for a week?
What worked well, and what could you improve?
Write your reflections below:

Next Steps

• Celebrate your wins, no matter how small! 🎉

• Choose another small action to continue building your healthy routine.

Remember: Small steps lead to big changes! Keep going! 💪

Out with the Old, In with the Aligned: Replacing Habits with Healthy Routines

Changing habits can feel like trying to rewrite a book while it's being read aloud. But what if I told you that replacing old, unhealthy patterns with aligned, supportive routines is not just possible but also deeply empowering? In this guide, we’ll explore how to identify habits that no longer serve you, release them mindfully, and create new routines that honor your mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Whether you're stabilizing a crisis, recovering from trauma, beginning a spiritual journey, or refining your self-mastery practices, this guide offers practical steps to help you align with the life you deserve.

1. Understanding the Nature of Habits

What Are Habits, and Why Do They Matter?

Habits are behaviors we repeat, often without thinking, to save mental energy. While they can create stability, they also have the power to introduce chaos. A habit becomes problematic when it drains your energy, triggers anxiety, or blocks personal progress. On the flip side, supportive habits can foster emotional balance, mental clarity, and spiritual growth.

The Science of Habit Formation

Habits are shaped by a three-part cycle:

1. Cue: A trigger that initiates the behavior.

2. Routine: The behavior itself.

3. Reward: The benefit or relief gained from the behavior.

For those with neurodivergence or trauma, this loop can become tangled. Trauma often fosters habits rooted in survival mechanisms, while neurodivergent tendencies may amplify certain behaviors due to hyperfocus, impulsivity, or sensory sensitivity.

Identifying Harmful Patterns

To begin the process of change, you must identify what isn’t serving you. Are there behaviors that leave you feeling depleted or disconnected? Habits that soothe short-term discomfort but sabotage long-term goals? Reflect on the emotional attachment to these habits—often, they’re rooted in comfort and familiarity, making them harder to release.

2. Preparing for Change: A Trauma-Informed Approach

Setting the Foundation with Self-Compassion

Shame and guilt are frequent companions when facing "bad" habits, but self-judgment won’t help. Instead, practice radical acceptance: recognize that these habits developed for a reason, often as a coping mechanism. Acknowledge their role in your life and release any judgment about needing to change them.

Defining Your Why

Why do you want to change? A clear intention grounds you in purpose and makes transformation sustainable. Consider these journaling prompts:

• What do I hope to gain from releasing this habit?

• How will my life improve with new routines?

• What aspects of my well-being (mental, emotional, spiritual) will benefit most?

Creating a Safe Space for Transformation

Before diving into action, set the stage for success:

• Rituals for Release: Create a symbolic act, such as lighting a candle, to represent your commitment to change.

• Support System: Build a network of friends, mentors, or spiritual allies who can guide and encourage you.

3. Releasing Old Habits Mindfully

Letting Go Without Self-Judgment

Behind every habit is an unmet need. When you understand this need, you can release the habit with compassion rather than blame. For instance, if you’re overeating for comfort, explore healthier ways to nurture yourself.

Practical Techniques for Release

1. Gradual Habit Weaning: Slowly reduce the frequency or intensity of the habit to avoid overwhelm.

2. Affirmations and Mantras: Use statements like, “I release what no longer serves me,” to dissolve resistance.

Ritual for Releasing the Old

Here’s a simple chaos magick ritual to help break ties with an unwanted habit:

Tools: A candle, a journal, and optionally a sigil.

Steps:

1. Write the habit on a piece of paper and state why you’re releasing it.

2. Light the candle and visualize the habit dissolving into the flame.

3. Create a sigil representing your new commitment.

4. Seal the ritual with gratitude and affirm your intention.

4. Building New, Healthy Routines

Starting Small, Growing Big

Transformation doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul. Start with micro-habits—tiny changes that lead to significant progress over time. For example, if you want to meditate daily, begin with just one minute a day and gradually increase.

Tailoring Routines to Your Needs

Acknowledge your unique challenges and strengths:

• Neurodivergence: Opt for routines that accommodate your energy levels and sensory preferences.

• Spiritual Alignment: Incorporate practices like grounding exercises, mindfulness, or energy clearing to keep you centered.

Using Habit Stacking

Pair new habits with established ones for smoother integration. For example:

• Meditate after brushing your teeth.

• Write in a gratitude journal during your morning coffee.

5. Staying Consistent and Resilient

Anticipating Challenges

Challenges will arise, whether from emotional triggers, stress, or unexpected setbacks. Plan for these by developing coping strategies, such as:

• Practicing mindfulness when cravings strike.

• Taking deep breaths to calm your nervous system.

The Power of Accountability

Share your goals with a trusted friend, community, or even a coach. Tracking apps can also help monitor your progress and celebrate milestones.

Celebrating Progress and Adjusting

Mark your achievements with rituals, whether lighting a candle, treating yourself to a self-care activity, or journaling about your growth. Periodically review your routines to ensure they align with your evolving needs.

6. A Call to Action for Empowerment

Practical Takeaway Exercises

1. Printable Habit Tracker: Use a simple chart to track your progress, noting triggers, successes, and setbacks.

2. Journaling Worksheet: Reflect on your "why" and map out steps for building new routines.

Engage with the Community

Share your journey in the comments or join a forum where others are navigating similar transformations. Together, we can inspire, support, and celebrate one another.

Conclusion

Replacing old habits with new, aligned routines is an act of profound self-love. It honors your past coping mechanisms while paving the way for a future rooted in healing, balance, and empowerment. By approaching change with self-compassion, a clear intention, and practical strategies, you can release what no longer serves you and build a life that supports your unique needs. Start small, stay consistent, and remember: every step forward is a victory.

You’ve got this. 🌟

Worksheet: From Wishing to Doing - A Grounded Path to Change

Introduction:

Manifestation and the Law of Attraction can be appealing concepts. They offer a sense of hope and the promise of easy transformation. But for many of us, especially those with neurodivergent brains or trauma histories, relying solely on "positive vibes" can set us up for disappointment and self-blame. This worksheet will help you translate your desires into concrete actions, creating a path toward real, lasting change.

Part 1: Reality Check

1. Identify a goal you've been trying to "manifest." What have you been hoping to attract or achieve through positive thinking or visualization?

2. Reflect on your experience. Has focusing on manifestation brought you closer to your goal? Has it led to any frustration, self-doubt, or feelings of inadequacy?

3. Challenge the "magic" thinking. What are some of the practical steps involved in achieving this goal? What actions are within your control?

Part 2: Breaking it Down

1. Define your goal clearly. Be specific about what you want to achieve. Instead of "I want to be happy," try "I want to reduce my anxiety so I can feel more comfortable in social situations."

2. Chunk it down. Break your goal into smaller, more manageable steps. If your goal is to reduce social anxiety, smaller steps might be:

   • Practice relaxation techniques daily.

   • Identify one social situation to try each week.

   • Prepare conversation starters or topics beforehand.

   • Reward yourself for each step you take.

3. Action plan. For each small step, identify concrete actions you can take. For example:

   • Research and practice deep breathing exercises.

   • Join an online support group for people with social anxiety.

   • Write down a list of potential conversation topics.

   • Plan a small reward, like a relaxing bath or a favorite treat.

4. Timeline and Accountability. Set realistic deadlines for each step. Consider sharing your plan with a supportive friend or therapist to increase accountability.

Part 3: Embracing the Journey

1. Focus on effort, not perfection. Acknowledge that setbacks are a normal part of the process. Don't let them derail you.

2. Celebrate small wins. Recognize and appreciate each step you take, no matter how small.

3. Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself throughout the process. Remember that change takes time and effort.

4. Seek support. Connect with others who understand your challenges. A therapist, support group, or trusted friend can offer encouragement and guidance.

Conclusion:

Remember, you are not solely responsible for "manifesting" your reality. You have the power to take action, build skills, and create positive change in your life. Focus on what you can control, celebrate your progress, and be kind to yourself along the way.

The Shadow Side of Manifestation: Why It Can Be Unhealthy for Neurodivergent People (and Others)

Manifestation is everywhere these days. From Instagram influencers touting their "dream lives" to self-help gurus promising abundance and success, the idea that we can shape our reality through positive thinking and focused intention has become a cultural phenomenon. But while the concept of manifestation can be empowering for some, it's crucial to examine its potential downsides, especially for neurodivergent individuals and those who have experienced trauma.

This guide delves into why the popularized notion of manifestation can be problematic, even harmful, for certain populations. We'll explore how it can clash with the lived experiences of neurodivergent people, potentially exacerbating existing challenges and creating a breeding ground for self-blame. We'll also examine how the concept can be damaging to victims of natural disasters, violent crimes, and other traumatic events, adding insult to injury by implying they are somehow responsible for their own suffering.

Neurodivergence and Manifestation: A Mismatch?

Neurodiversity encompasses a wide range of neurological differences, including autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and sensory processing sensitivity. While neurodivergent individuals possess unique strengths and perspectives, they also often face specific challenges that can make navigating a world built for neurotypical brains difficult. These challenges can include:

• Executive dysfunction: Difficulties with planning, organization, time management, and impulse control can make it challenging to break down goals into manageable steps and maintain motivation over time, both of which are often emphasized in manifestation practices.

• Sensory sensitivities: Heightened sensitivity to light, sound, touch, or other sensory input can lead to overwhelm and meltdowns, making it difficult to maintain the focused attention and positive mindset often promoted by manifestation proponents.

• Social anxiety and rejection sensitivity: Difficulties with social interaction and a heightened fear of rejection can make it challenging to put oneself "out there" and pursue goals that involve social interaction, a common component of manifestation practices aimed at achieving success or attracting relationships.

• Increased likelihood of experiencing trauma and abuse: Due to factors like social isolation, bullying, and communication differences, neurodivergent individuals are statistically more likely to experience trauma and abuse. This can have a profound impact on their sense of self, their ability to trust others, and their capacity to believe in their own agency.

So, where does manifestation fit into this picture? The problem lies in the core tenets of popularized manifestation, which often clash with the lived realities of neurodivergent individuals.

• "Good Vibes Only": Manifestation often emphasizes maintaining a positive mindset and focusing on desired outcomes. While optimism can be helpful, this "toxic positivity" can invalidate the very real struggles and emotions that neurodivergent people experience. It can create pressure to suppress or deny difficult feelings like anxiety, frustration, or sadness, hindering genuine emotional processing and self-acceptance. For someone with autism who experiences meltdowns, being told to simply "think positive" can feel dismissive and invalidating.

• The Illusion of Control: The idea that we can attract what we want through focused intention can create a false sense of control and responsibility. For neurodivergent individuals who may already struggle with executive function, emotional regulation, or social challenges, this can lead to self-blame when things don't go as planned. It reinforces the idea that they are not trying hard enough or that their "negative" thoughts are to blame for their difficulties. For example, someone with ADHD who struggles to maintain focus might internalize the message that they are failing to manifest their desires because they are not "disciplined" enough.

• Ignoring Systemic Barriers: Manifestation often focuses on individual willpower and the "law of attraction." While personal agency is important, this emphasis can overshadow the very real systemic barriers that neurodivergent people face. Discrimination in the workplace, lack of accessible education, and societal stigma are not things that can be simply "manifested" away. Ignoring these factors places undue burden on the individual and can lead to feelings of shame and inadequacy. For instance, a person with a disability might be told they can manifest employment, but the reality is that ableism and lack of accommodations create significant obstacles.

Manifestation and Trauma: Adding Insult to Injury

Trauma is unfortunately prevalent among neurodivergent individuals. Due to factors like social isolation, bullying, and communication differences, they are at a higher risk of experiencing abuse, neglect, and other forms of trauma. Trauma can deeply impact a person's sense of safety, trust, and self-worth, making it even more challenging to navigate the world and believe in their ability to create positive change.

In this context, the concept of manifestation can be particularly harmful. It can:

• Reinforce self-blame: Telling trauma survivors that they are responsible for attracting their experiences can be deeply invalidating and retraumatizing. It reinforces the idea that they somehow "manifested" their abuse or that they could have prevented it if they had just been more positive or had higher "vibrations." Imagine a survivor of sexual assault being told that they attracted the assault because they weren't "manifesting" strong enough boundaries. This is not only insensitive but also perpetuates a dangerous myth that places the blame on the victim.

• Discourage emotional processing: The emphasis on positive thinking can discourage trauma survivors from processing their pain and grief. It can create a sense of shame around "negative" emotions like anger, fear, or sadness, hindering the healing process. Trauma recovery often involves acknowledging and processing difficult emotions, not suppressing them in the pursuit of positivity.

• Trigger feelings of powerlessness: When faced with overwhelming challenges like the aftermath of a natural disaster or a violent crime, the idea of manifestation can feel like a cruel joke. It can trigger feelings of powerlessness, helplessness, and despair, as survivors grapple with the reality that they had no control over what happened. Telling someone who lost their home in a hurricane that they should have "manifested" a stronger house adds insult to injury and ignores the complex factors that contribute to such tragedies.

The Broader Impact: When Manifestation Becomes Harmful

The potential harm of manifestation extends beyond the neurodivergent community. It can be equally damaging in other contexts, such as:

• Natural disasters: Blaming victims of natural disasters for not manifesting "better" circumstances is not only insensitive but also ignores the complex factors that contribute to such events. It places the burden of responsibility on individuals who are already suffering, rather than addressing systemic issues like climate change, inadequate infrastructure, and lack of disaster preparedness.

• Violent crime: Suggesting that survivors of violent crime could have prevented their attack through manifestation is deeply offensive and victim-blaming. It ignores the reality of power dynamics, predatory behavior, and systemic injustices that contribute to violence. It places the onus on the victim to have somehow "manifested" a different outcome, rather than holding the perpetrator accountable.

• Chronic illness: Implying that people can simply "manifest" their way to health is not only unrealistic but also dismissive of the very real challenges and limitations that chronic illnesses pose. It can create a sense of false hope and lead to self-blame when people inevitably experience setbacks. Imagine someone with a chronic pain condition being told they can simply "manifest" their pain away. This ignores the complex biological and psychological factors that contribute to chronic pain and can create a sense of hopelessness when manifestation fails.

Promoting manifestation in these contexts is ethically questionable and can have serious consequences. It can perpetuate harmful stereotypes, discourage people from seeking professional help, and create a culture of victim-blaming.

Alternatives to Manifestation: Healthier Approaches

Instead of relying solely on the concept of manifestation, there are alternative frameworks that offer more nuanced and supportive approaches to well-being, especially for neurodivergent individuals and trauma survivors:

• Self-compassion: Cultivating self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during difficult times. It means acknowledging your struggles without judgment and recognizing that you are worthy of love and support, regardless of your circumstances. This can be particularly helpful for neurodivergent individuals who may internalize societal messages of inadequacy or for trauma survivors who may struggle with self-blame.

• Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It can help to reduce anxiety, increase self-awareness, and foster a sense of groundedness. For neurodivergent individuals who may experience sensory overload or racing thoughts, mindfulness can offer a valuable tool for managing their inner experience.  

• Community care: Building strong connections with others and engaging in mutual aid can provide a sense of belonging, support, and shared responsibility. It recognizes that we are not alone in our struggles and that collective action can create positive change. This can be particularly empowering for neurodivergent individuals who may experience social isolation or for trauma survivors who may struggle with trust and connection.

• Social justice: Advocating for social justice and systemic change addresses the root causes of inequality and injustice. It recognizes that individual well-being is intertwined with the well-being of the community and that collective action is necessary to create a more just and equitable world. This can be especially important for neurodivergent individuals who face systemic discrimination and for trauma survivors who may have been harmed by systems of oppression.

These approaches offer a more holistic and empowering path to well-being. They emphasize self-acceptance, community support, and working towards a more just and equitable world, rather than placing the sole burden of responsibility on the individual.

Conclusion

While the concept of manifestation can be appealing, it's crucial to approach it with critical thinking and consider its potential downsides. For neurodivergent

Sources and related content individuals and trauma survivors, the emphasis on positive thinking, individual willpower, and the "law of attraction" can be invalidating, harmful, and even retraumatizing. It can set unrealistic expectations, amplify self-blame, and discourage individuals from seeking professional support or acknowledging the impact of systemic barriers.

Promoting manifestation in the context of natural disasters, violent crimes, and chronic illnesses is ethically questionable and can perpetuate victim-blaming. It's essential to recognize that these are complex issues with multifaceted causes and that individuals are not solely responsible for their circumstances. Placing the burden of responsibility on individuals who are already struggling can be incredibly damaging and can prevent them from accessing the support and resources they need.

Instead of relying solely on manifestation, we can cultivate healthier approaches to well-being that emphasize self-compassion, mindfulness, community care, and social justice. These approaches offer a more nuanced and empowering path to healing and transformation, recognizing that true well-being comes from within and from our connection to others. They acknowledge the importance of self-acceptance, realistic goal-setting, and collective action in creating positive change.

By challenging the uncritical promotion of manifestation and offering alternative frameworks, we can create a more inclusive and supportive space for neurodivergent individuals and trauma survivors to thrive. We can foster a culture that values authenticity, vulnerability, and collective responsibility, empowering individuals to navigate their challenges with compassion and resilience.

Resources

• Books:

• "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk (trauma) https://amzn.to/3YYYqmK

• "Divergent Mind" by Jenara Nerenberg (neurodiversity) https://amzn.to/3YKGFGz

• "Self-Compassion" by Kristin Neff (self-compassion) https://amzn.to/48PJjiY

• "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron (sensory processing sensitivity) https://amzn.to/4hJc8Bu

• "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price (autism) https://amzn.to/40GgJhR

• "Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey (ADHD) https://amzn.to/3ULbjhQ

• Organizations:

• The Autistic Self Advocacy Network (neurodiversity): https://autisticadvocacy.org/

• The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) (mental health support): https://www.nami.org/

• The Trauma Resource Institute (trauma): https://www.traumaresourceinstitute.com/

• The National Disability Rights Network (NDRN) (disability rights): https://www.ndrn.org/

• Websites and Online Communities:

• Neuroclastic (neurodiversity): https://neuroclastic.com/

• The Mighty (mental health and disability): https://themighty.com/

• Neurodivergent Magick & Spirituality Facebook: https://bit.ly/3YDcGQV

Call to Action

What are your thoughts on the concept of manifestation? Have you experienced its benefits or drawbacks? Share your experiences and perspectives in the comments below. Let's engage in open dialogue and critical thinking about popular self-help trends to ensure they are truly supportive and inclusive for all.

If you are a neurodivergent individual or a trauma survivor who has been harmed by the concept of manifestation, please know that you are not alone. There are resources and communities available to support you. Reach out, connect with others, and remember that your worth is inherent, regardless of your circumstances.